Thursday, 31 December 2015

13 Things Not to Say to Someone Who's Always in a Relationship

1. "You're young! You need to get out there and experience what the world has to offer you." And by that do you mean "have one-night stands with guys who don't know what they're doing and first dates that are awkward as hell"? I don't judge if that's what you enjoy. But if I found My Person, there's no point in going on dates that I don't really want to be on.

2. "How do you spice it up?" As if it weren't already spicy. When you're in a really, really good relationship, you don't have to search for spices — they're just there in infinite supply.

3.People in long-term relationships are just people who are way too comfortable with each other." Allow me to clarify: A comfortable relationship is not an unhappy relationship. I'm comfortable with my significant other in the sense that I will walk around with no makeup and send him ugly selfies. Comfort does not make us dislike each other.

4.How's the ball and chain doing?" Or "How's the boyyyyyyfriend?" you might say while rolling your eyes as if to suggest it's such a chore to be in a happy, steady relationship. He's great and we love the shit out of each other, actually! Thanks for asking

5.I don't believe in monogamy." And I do. Which is why I am me, and you are you. Oh, look, a poem!

6.It's so weird that you have no one else to compare him or your relationship to. How can you even tell if he's The One?"  This is hard to understand for someone who hasn't found their person yet, but if you have found your person, you know. To put it in simple terms — your favorite personal belonging probably isn't your favorite because some external force made you realize that it is. Your favorite green bracelet is your favorite green bracelet because you love it and it means something to you. It's that simple. So, yeah, I just know.

7.Doesn't it get boring?" If it were boring I wouldn't be doing it. I'm in a committed relationship with a person, I am not in a committed relationship with boredom. Thanks though.

8.Come on, just be my wingwoman!" Uh, no, that's boring for me. I don't bring you out on my dates because you'd rather poke your eyes out than be a third wheel, which is totally fine. But that's what being your wingwoman feels like to me. 

9.Not ever inviting me to girls' things where it's mostly single girls because they assume you don't want to come.*  Just because I am in a relationship doesn't mean I am against hanging out with single people. When I'm going out with my best girlfriends, the last thing I am thinking about is anyone's relationship status. So if you're going out for a fun night of drinks and food, whether or not you're looking for hookups, count me in!

10.You can't be together long-term if you don't hook up with other people first." This is a real thing that someone told me once, and it blew my mind. Just because the first guy I got with ended up being the only guy I wanted to get with doesn't mean that it's not real. (See no. 5 above, ahem.)

11.You must think about other guys all the time." I mean yeah, I have eyes. I think that Eric Decker is hot as hell because he is. I acknowledge that a man is attractive as he walks past me on the street because I am a living human. Just because I am monogamous doesn't mean I want to rip off my clothes at the sight of a hot man who isn't my man.

1 2"How do you know? You've only been with one guy." <---The ~sAsSy~ remark you get whenever you try to give relationship advice. Yes, I have only been with one guy. Because he's an awesome hell of a guy who treats me exactly as I should be treated. Because I know how good it feels to be in a happy relationship, I know that the way that douchebag is treating you is wrong. And you deserve to be happy!

13.Do you really think he's ever only been with you?" I really do because we're in a trusting relationship. That's what monogamous relationships are. And that's what I like having in my life

Sunday, 20 December 2015

7 Reasons Why Ladies Should Make a First Move On The Man They Desire



We have heard of the stigma that comes with a lady making a first move on a man and with the African mentality, a lady would rather wait and hope that that guy that gives her goose pimples would just walk up to her and woo her but most times,this never happens and when the man who does not catch her fancy comes her way,she will bark at him so ferociously as if the guy is responsible for her "timidity"

I have actually sat down to reason deeply about this issue and i have come to a solid conclusion that judging from the happenings of today,it will be a wise thing for a lady to stop waiting and hoping that one guy she wants will just read her mind and walk up to her and i would like you all to see 7 realistic reasons why you should give that guy a green light without outrightly wooing him if you truly want him rather than wait and pray he comes your way.

1.Many men are confused and don't know what they want: Yes many guys are so confused and ths has nothing to do with imaturity.Each day, a guy sees different ladies of different ersonalities, colors,curves and beauty and just when they are thinking about dating a lady, they see another one that looks even more alluring to him and on and on he gets so lost as to which lady to go for even when he is not sure which one will say yes to him but when you give him a green light,,he is likely to let down his guards and settle for you. Guys love daring ladies and we find them amusing

2.Takes an extra effort to woo a lady: Don't be deceived when you see a dude and you start thinking he has all the ladies in the world after him because in actual fact, many guys battle with fear of rejection even the sweet looking ones. No matter how sweet looking a man is, he usually plans his moves and they know there is a possibility of you turning them down but maybe just a sweet flirtatious glance or sweet smile from you to him will make him more relaxed and feel more confident to approach you and pour out those lyrics.

3.Most responsible guys are shy or don't have that time to woo a lady: The bottom line is that in most cases,those bold and daring guys that walk up to you are playboys but the more reliable,responsible and purposeful guys are shy or don't even know how to woo a lady or are too devoted to their career to do that so if you see that sweet looking dude,just say hi to him and if he does not catch the drift,he is on his own.

4.Hard to get syndrome: Some ladies still think playing hard to get is in vogue..I am one guy that will not bother you again if you give me any strong NO body language. I believe if you want me as a friend even if not as a date for a start at least be friendly with me and don't give me this appalling attitude. Honestly there are too many ladies out there for one girl to dey form hard to get and if i am a lady, i would rather prove hard to forget rather than hard to get.Many men don't even bother these days wooing ladies because they have that mindset that these ladies will end up forming and are easily drawn towards the ones that show them a green light.

5.Every lady deserves the man she desires: As guys,we are cool with the fact that we know what we want in our lady as regards her physical appearance and when we see such that meets up, we simply summon courage and walk up to her but in the case of a lady,it is expected of her to just sit and wait in hope that the guy walks up to her and it is considered improper for her to express her desire for that guy...how partial and wicked can this ever get?. I believe that What's sauce for the goose should also be sauce for the gander and i believe it is unfair for ladies to just cry in silence when they see a man they so desire and who might just desire them with hope that he makes the first move.

6.Making the first move on a guy is never the same as throwing yourself sheepishly at him: I have heard many people use these erroneous remarks that when a lady makes a first move on a guy then the guy will not value her or will see her as cheap...you never jam babe that will make the first move and will comport herself so well that the guy will have a rethink and value her even more than he ever imagined. When you make a first move on a guy,it does not mean you will start monkeying over him or be at his beck and call and yes you can make a first move on a guy and still deny him sex wella so ladies must understand that whoring over a guy is a total different ball game and making a first move is another.

7.Economy crunch:In-fact in Nigeria, this has become number one deterrent as many guys have lost hope of ever getting a girl to truly desire them because to these,they will always believe its about money and not love. You will be amazed that the guy you are so much into is also deeply attracted to you but he has been thinking about his pocket and asking himself how on earth will he be able to meet up with "your standard" especially if you are the high class babe.But if you just show that guy a little encouragement,he just might overcome this thought and make that move.

The truth is that making a first move on a man can be done tactically and does not really mean throwing yourself at him or opening your legs for him to take undo advantage of you but you can go for the man you want and still maintain your dignity and he will respect you all the way.

Sunday, 13 December 2015

the Sixteen Types OF Relationships


The different types of relationships
Not all relationships that you’ll experience in your life may be a pleasant experience.
Some lovers may be selfish, and some others may be unfaithful.
But now and then, you may come across someone who seems just perfect for you.
So what separates a perfect relationship from the bad ones?
In reality, there’s just one thing separating the everlasting romance from the bad ones. And that’s compatibility.
You may be a great lover who’s selfless and giving, but if you’re dating someone who isn’t compatible with your expectations from love, the relationship can leave both of you feeling bitter and mean.

1. The open relationship. An open relationship is a relationship where both partners are emotionally committed to each other. But sexually, well, not so much. Both partners have sex with other people outside the relationship with each other’s consent.

2. The codependent relationship. Do you need your partner to function efficiently in your life? This is the kind of relationship where you’re too dependent on your partner, and completely rely on them to help you with your decision making.

3. The controlling relationship. One partner plays a dominant role in the romance, while the other partner just follows the rules. You may not realize you’re being dominated for a very long time, until you start getting frustrated and feeling helpless.

4. The held-by-loss relationship. Both of you have lost a lover or have experienced a painful breakup recently, and have come together because both of you just needed somebody to love and get loved in return. The is very common, and almost always a rebound relationship with someone just to fill the emptiness inside.

5. Toxic relationships. Toxic relationships are relationships that seem pleasant from the outside, but for some unexplainable reason, they suck the life and happiness out of you. You’re frustrated or annoyed most of the time, and you have no idea why.

6. The negotiation relationship. Both of you are happy with each other, but every now and then, there are a lot of negotiations and compromises from both sides just to keep the other partner happy.

7. The asexual relationship. Both of you are sexually attractive and even get attracted to the opposite sex. But both of you aren’t interested in having sex with each other. The routine of lovemaking may have bored you and you may not care for it anymore.

8. The pastime fling. You’re in love with your partner, but you’re not so in love that you make future plans with each other. You’re happy for now, but somewhere inside, you’re convinced that the relationship won’t work out or last forever.

9. The distracted relationship. Many college sweethearts experience this type of relationship several years down the road. Both partners are in love, but completely invisible to each other. They’re too focused on their careers or the kids to give enough time to each other.

10. The trophy relationship. You’re dating your partner because it makes you look better or gives you something materialistic in return. Gold diggers and men with trophy wives are the best fit for this type of relationship. The love in this relationship may be true, but the foundation of the relationship is built on shallow material ground instead of romantic compatibility.

11. The sexual affair. You’re in the relationship only for the sex. There’s no emotional connection and you just don’t care about building the love. You’re sexually infatuated by your partner, and you don’t care how they treat you as long as you get physical intimacy.

12. The long distance relationship. Both of you love each other and are connected to each other emotionally. But physically, both of you live in two different area codes and share minimal physical intimacy. You’d have to deal with insecurities and jealously, and several bouts of suspicion now and then.

13. The imperfect relationship. You know your relationship isn’t perfect, but you don’t really want to change it. You don’t complain, because you’ve accepted your partner and your life to be less than perfect. And you feel you can’t change anything even if you want to.

14. The complicated relationship. Complicated relationships are the trickiest kind of relationships. Both partners may know that things aren’t perfect in loveland, either because of the involvement of a third person, or because of the incompatibility, but yet both of you have no idea how to fix the issue or deal with it.

15. The emotional relationship. This is the kind of secret affair you have with someone other than your own partner. You may not realize you’re falling for this person, but you’d be completely addicted to them in reality. So much so, that you’d willingly jeopardize your own perfect relationship to be with this other person.

16. The truly compatible romance. This is the hardest type of relationship to find. But then again, this is the only definition of a perfectly romantic relationship. Both of you are compatible and completely understand each other, and accept each other for who both of you are. There’s love in the air, and everyone else is envious of your relationship. 









Personality and Relationships


Personality Type and Sexuality
Most of us are allured by the attractive notion that effortless relationships exist. Whether it be happily-ever-after marriages, or friendships that last forever, or parent/child bonds which supercede the need to understand each other, we'd all like to believe that our most intimate relationships are unconditional, and strong enough to withstand whatever may come. However, at some point in our lives most of us need to face the fact that relationships require effort to keep them strong and positive, and that even wonderful, strong relationships can be destroyed by neglect.
Whether you're looking to improve a love relationship, familial relationships, friendships, or employer/employee relationships, understanding your own personality type and the personality type of the other person involved in the relationship will bring a new dynamic to the situation, which will allow better understanding and communication. Although the different types of relationships have very different characteristics and specific needs, there are two basic areas which seem to be critical in all relationships: Expectations and Communication. What do we expect from ourselves and the other person involved in the relationship? How do we communicate these expectations, and our feelings and opinions to the person in the relationship? How does our personality type affect our expectations and methods of communication? Does our personality type affect who we are romantically attracted to? How does it affect who our friends are, and who we work with best? These are the questions which we address in this section of The Personality Page.
**Disclaimer**
Please note that we are not prescribing an absolute solution to your relationship problems, nor are we stating that there's any guarantee of improved odds with particular type pairings. Statistics show that individuals who are most happy within their marriages are those who have the highest levels of inner peace and those who have the most optimistic outlook on life in general. We do not address people's emotional standing here when discussing relationship issues, which is another important aspect of relationship dynamics.

Opposites Attract

That old concept and expression "opposites attract" has been batted around for centuries. And in fact, it's very true when it comes to love relationships. Through our research, we have noted that people are usually attracted to their opposite on the Extraversion/Introversion and Judging/Perceiving scales. We are naturally attracted to individuals who are different from ourselves - and therefore somewhat exciting. But it's not just the exciting differences which attract us to our opposites, it is also a natural quest for completion. We naturally are drawn towards individuals who have strengths which we are missing. When two opposites function as a couple, they become a more well-rounded, functioning unit. There is also the theory that our natural attraction to our opposites is a subconscious way of forcing us to deal with the weaker aspects of our own nature. While we are highly attracted to our opposites, two opposites involved in an intimate relationship have significant issues and communication barriers to overcome. So in a sense, our attraction to the opposite personality can be seen as our subconscious minds driving us towards becoming a more complete individual, by causing us to face the areas in life which are most difficult to us.
The same cannot be said for other kinds of relationships. When it comes to work colleagues, or friends, we are not especially interested in dealing with people who are very unlike ourselves. We are most comfortable with those who have similar interests and perspectives, and we do not show a lot of motivation or patience for dealing with our opposites.

Birds of a Feather Flock Together

Although we are attracted to people who are very different from us in the way we deal with the world, we are most attracted to others who have a similar focus in their lives. Couples who have the same dominant function in their personalities seems to have the longest and happiest relationships. So, for example, an individual whose dominant function is Introverted Sensing (ISTJ or ISFJ) seems to be naturally drawn towards partners with a dominant function of Extraverted Sensing (ESTP or ESFP). We have also noticed that Sensors seem to communicate best with other Sensors, and that Intuitives seem to communicate best with other Intuitives. There seems to be a more equal partnership formed with people who communicate on the same level, although there are many successful relationships between Sensors and Intuitives. Two individuals of any type who are well-developed and balanced can communicate effectively and make a relationship work, but many people will communicate best with people who share their same information gathering preference.
With that in mind, it shouldn't come as any surprise to learn that research regarding Personality Type and Relationships shows a definite pattern which indicates that successful mates often share the same dominant function, and the same letter preference ("S" or "N") for their information gathering function. Of course, that does not mean that people with different preferences cannot have a happy, successful marriage, it simply indicates that people frequently settle down with individuals who are on their same "wave-length

Relationships and the Sixteen Types

1.The Duty Fulfillers
2. The Guardians
3.The Nurturers
4.The Caregivers
5.The Mechanics
6.The Doers
7.The Performers
8.The Artists
9, The Executives
10. The Scientists
 11.The Visionaries
12. The Thinkers  
13.The Givers
14.The Protectors
15.The Inspirers
16.The Idealists